"Who celebrates being first runner-up?" you might ask. I did. So much so that I even ended the book with a rap song about it—Southern, beauty queen rap, that is.

Runner-up Rap
I'm not Miss America
But I'm still pumped
'Cause I love being
The first runner-up

It's a lifetime job
Being Miss America
But we runners-up
Can hang up our tiaras

And no one remembers
Who came in second
So I don't have to fret
When the media beckons

Former Miss Americas
Gotta look swell
But first runners-up
Can just be ourselves